CA PI 16429

 


December 7, 2009

Investigator on Why the Famous Cheat

By Joe Burris

Reports of Tiger Woods' infidelity place the legendary golfer on a diverse list of high-profile people caught in extramarital affairs in recent years.

Woods has dominated sports pages and gossip columns for the last week, beginning with the unusual single-car accident in front of his home. Rumors circulated that Woods' wife Elin Nordegren used a golf club to smash the car's back window to get her husband out of the car.

As Woods tried to keep the matter private, reports circulated from other women who claimed to have been romantically involved with the golfer. Woods ultimately confessed to "transgressions."

Woods has joined other prominent figures who have admitted to adultery, including former ESPN analyst Steve Phillips, late-night talk show host David Letterman, South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford, tennis legend Chris Evert, former presidential candidate John Edwards and NBA star Kobe Bryant. Former Ravens quarterback Steve McNair was shot to death July 4 by a woman with whom he was having an affair.

Though they are in the public spotlight, the stars' behavior is not unlike that of ordinary people who cheat on their spouses, says Bill Mitchell, a private investigator.

Author of the book, "The More You Know -- Getting the Evidence and Support You Need to Investigate a Troubled Relationship," the Mount St. Mary's graduate has been compiling adultery statistics for nearly 40 years. He has operated private investigative agencies in several locales, including the Baltimore area.

In a recent interview from his South Carolina office, Mitchell offered perspectives on who cheats and why.

Question: Is there anything to gauge from the many recent reports of prominent individuals admitting to extramarital affairs?

Answer: Cheating is at an all-time high in our culture. Media coverage of the famous is, too. The common denominators with these household names are influence, opportunity, prosperity, and susceptibility. Their professional careers include vulnerabilities, often essentials to an affair.

Those cheating today are no different than years past. Media coverage of adultery is more prevalent than in times past and no longer a taboo subject matter.

Often, famous people can develop into better targets. Fame begets notoriety, and it's in these cases the stakes are higher and "seizing the moment" comes as a golden opportunity for them.

Q: In chronicling such behavior, what data have you drawn about adulterers?

A: I've witnessed, firsthand, thousands of cases, not to mention the endless amount of victims I've counseled who were unable to fund an investigation.

Drawing from this unique vantage point, statistically speaking, 60 to 70 percent of adultery victims are women while 30 to 40 percent of adultery victims are men. This number has increased dramatically over the past decade and a half, due in part to the increased presence of women in the workplace.

It is not uncommon, 70 to 80 percent of the time, for the extramarital activity to last six months to a year, but not longer. The Internet has been an enormous factor in cheating, but typically 50 to 75 percent of extramarital affairs take place with someone from the workplace.

Q: Why does each gender cheat?

A: Men cheat to conquer, to experience more sex and for the buzz associated with cheating. Their physical and egotistical drives set them up for an affair. This is especially true of successful personalities whose jobs entail travel.

Women, on the other hand, respond internally. Those triggers like affection, attentiveness, compassion or listening. The sexual part of the affair comes later on.

Both men and women who cheat were influenced by a key role model in their lives -- normally a parent who cheated.

Q: What is the impact of an extramarital affair on a person's life, professional and personal?

A: No amount of money can fix what I call a cellophane bridge. You still have problems with your family, your relatives, your peers. You can't fix that. You can't convince people that this is acceptable.

Even if you win in court and don't have to pay any custody, you still have to deal with your kids. I know of kids who turn to drugs because of feelings of abandonment by their dads. They say, "A 25-year-old is more important than me."

There's always backlash, and that's the big story.


Link


Copyright 2009 Gailey Associates, Inc. CA PI 16429 California Professional Private Investigators